MelodyO

10 First pages - Thrillers

2008-04-28T17:37:00.003-07:00

I thought it would be fun if every Monday I ran through some stats on the first page of ten random books in a certain genre. It seems to me there's often a kind of hysteria amongst unpublished writers to write the "perfect" hook, the "perfect" first line, the "perfect" first page - and OMG don't you dare write about the setting, the weather, or, in fact, anything but the most exciting scene evar! Is that true of books that made it through the armada of exacting agents and editors in the business? Let's find out.

10 Random Thriller First Pages

1. A guy driving too fast through fog hits something. (The first half of the page is weather description, the second half is the hitting something) Hit and Run

2. A sensory description of a hospital ward by one of the patients. The Inquisitor

3. A description of two brothers lazing around on a summer day. Riptide

4. A description of the landscape from a helicopter. The Pawn

5. A description of a presidential motorcade. The Last Jihad

6. A description of a restaurant in a tourist town after tourist season is over. The Unquiet

7. A cop trying to forget the death of her partner is volunteering at a teens in trouble centre. 2nd Chance

8. CIA's Global Operations Center...Delta Force commander...high-priority target... Byzantine world of U.S. intelligence. ::head asplodes:: Dead Heat

9. A detailed description of two men putting a man on a stretcher into a helicopter. Bad Luck and Trouble

10. A spooky church. A mysterious noise in the night. OMG what is it?? It's a...it's a...it's a dream. Never mind. The Art Thief

So What Have We Got?

Holy crap, what we've got is description and more description.
10/10 Action is happening, but it isn't big and exciting so much as, you know, detailed.

Lessons Learned

Thrillers aren't thrilling on the first page. I guess readers of thrillers love the build-up, the plethora of details that bring that particular world into sharp focus.

And the most embarrassing lesson of all? That thriller I wrote and flogged to about 25 agents with dismal results? Was NOT A THRILLER. ::dies a little::

Blog posts you should read this weekend if you're working on a query letter.

2008-04-25T22:10:00.006-07:00

First, Agent Kristin over at Pub Rants kindly shares some of the highlights of her query pitch workshop (for free, baby!). Her advice in Part 1 is to identify the plot catalyst that starts your story forward -- it should ideally be in the first 30 or so pages. If you want some practice finding plot catalysts, she says, go to your local bookstore and read the back copy, then read the book until you spot the plot catalyst that was mentioned on the back cover. She gives a couple of great examples, and does a fine job of making a complicated task infinitely more understandable.

Next, toddle on over to Query Shark (best blog name ever), where Agent Janet Reid is chewing her way through queries submitted by fearless/fearful/chummy readers. Get in on this one while it's new, because I'm sure there'll soon be huge schools of eager unpublished fishies vying for her toothy critiques. Okay, that's more than enough shark jokes for one post. Glub glub.

10 First pages - Urban Fantasy

2008-04-13T07:52:00.011-07:00

I thought it would be fun if every Monday I ran through some stats on the first page of ten random books in a certain genre. It seems to me there's often a kind of hysteria amongst unpublished writers to write the "perfect" hook, the "perfect" first line, the "perfect" first page - and OMG don't you dare write about the setting, the weather, or, in fact, anything but the most exciting scene evar! Is that true of books that made it through the armada of exacting agents and editors in the business? Let's find out.

10 Random Urban Fantasy First Pages

1. The MC is on a red-eye flight and not having a good time. Urban Shaman

2. A description of the MC's dreams of monsters. Tales of Tanglewood

3. A cop pulls the MC over while she has something Not Good hidden in the back of her truck. Halfway to the Grave

4. A description of a maid's day before she was trapped in the rubble of a building after an earthquake. Burning Water

5. A description of the portable sauna a woman is using as a sweatlodge. Sacred Ground

6. A description of an old man who lives in the heart of a tree. Waifs and Strays

7. A werewolf walks into a restaurant. Nevernever

8. The MC comes home after a long night of raising zombies. Obsidian Butterfly

9. The MC casts a spell to calm his horse spooked by a sonic boom caused by a passing fighter jet. Bloodring

10. A cowboy, a lawyer, and a mechanic (who are also a werewolf, his gorgeous lover, and a shapeshifter) watch a movie together. Iron Kissed

So what have we got?

5 - Description of the setting or characters with no significant action

5 - The moments before or after the big exciting action

0 - The big exciting action

5 - Number of these books I would continue on to page 2. (#3, 6, 7, 8, and 10, if you're curious)

Lessons Learned

Your goal as a writer is to get your reader to ask "What happens next?", and you don't need noisy explosions to do that. Two ways to do that well (IMO):

1. Have an interesting style of writing.
2. Write about something or someone extraordinary in ordinary surroundings.
___________

And that's it for urban fantasy! If there's a genre you'd like me to cover, just leave a comment. :0D

Damn you, Joss Whedon.

2008-04-10T18:52:00.003-07:00

Why did you have to make Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Joss? Why did it have to have unforgettable characters and brilliant dialogue and heart-wrenching drama and scalding hot sex?

Because now you're what I aspire to be, even though I'm just a beginner at this. My WIP has five main characters, three POVs, two main plot lines, three sub-plots, snark, tears, murder, sacrifice, redemption, sword fights, a zombie, and really great sex between sworn enemies. Siiiigh. Sound familiar, Joss?

Needless to say, writing this thing is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's forcing me to forge a plot and characters more complex and believable than anything I've ever written before. You know how your muscles hurt when you attempt something you're not used to? That's how I feel every time I put pen to paper. The next book I write is going to be first-person, past tense, with not a whiff of anything supernatural about it. It's going to be easy and safe and by-the-numbers, by God! But this one...this one's for you, Mr. Whedon.

Critique-apalooza

2008-04-06T16:09:00.006-07:00

Do you ever wonder if your writing sucks, but are too scared to ask because of what the answer might be? Well, here's your chance to find out with a minimum of pain and embarrassment. Of course, my opinion's not worth more than any other ~~unhinged~~ total stranger on the Internets, but that's part of the charm. I'm just a regular old reader, like the person you hope one day might be picking up your book at Chapters to give it a look-see.

So post a paragraph of your work in this post's comments. I'll read it and tell you one thing I like about it and one thing I don't. That way you can be assured of feeling good and getting some honest feedback. I'll be Simon and Paula combined! Although I promise not to say how beautiful your hair looks in lieu of actual constructive criticism. \0/

For that kind of money, I want an apostrophe in "it's", dammit!

2008-03-10T17:22:00.009-07:00

Like a heck of a lot of people, I've been following the story of Eliot "Victimless Crime" Spitzer, the now-former Governor of NY, who resigned in disgrace after it was revealed he spent at least 80 large on high class hookers.

Now, even though there's no sex act on earth worth $2000 (especially if you haggle first), I understand that the men who used this escort agency were also paying for discretion and the company of a hooker who was guaranteed bubbly, intelligent, charming, genteel, etc. Someone you could comfortably take to a high-falutin' ball -- unless of course you also brought your wife along ha ha. Not just a pair of impressive knockers, these ladies of the evening! I could see that being worth some bucks.

That is, until I was snooping around The Smoking Gun the other day, looking for the juicy bits in this story (like: he didn't even want to wear a condom OMG!!!). I came across a letter written by a prospective employee of the escort agency, declining employment with them because the pay wasn't up to par. Here, let's take a peek.

Hi, I have just spoken to a friend of mine who done her first job for you...unfortunately I wasn't very happy to find that its only 500 ph + over 50% commission fees...I was aware of 50% but didn't know the price was 500...This is a kind of money I make very easily in photoshoots and the reason I wanted to join your site to make an extra money...The other think I was little bit shock and confuse that she had sex with him twice in an hour and without her taking her out for dinner before...So I am very sorry I don't think this is my kind of thing. I was told by your assistant in London this is more like a dating agency than an escort. But to provide sex for 500 an hour, I just thing this is not a price I would ever consider doing it for.

Augh! The sloppy grammar! The excess of ellipses! Hopefully she's not indicative of all the staff at Emperor's Club VIP. If I paid top dollar for the services of this young woman -- after having bought her dinner first, of course -- I've gotta tell you: there's no way I could enjoy the talents of the fingers that typed that letter.

OTOH, maybe a good spanking would set her straight. :0P

Hannibal Lecter was a Scorpio

2008-03-07T11:34:00.012-07:00

I've given birth to a ten pound baby. I've also given birth to a whole bunch of fictional characters. Sure the real birth hurt more, but at least it was over in a day. My fictional babies took months and months to shape and develop, and even then they often rebelled and did things I didn't approve of, like turn evil or monopolize every conversation they were part of. Kids!

Creating believable characters is hard work, but it's also a lot of fun. I get to make people that are everything I wish I could be (or am glad I'll never be) and tell exciting stories about them -- score! Bad boy celebrity? Dying ex-marine? Snarky geek? Bumbling angel? I've written about every one, and fallen in love with all of them.

See how I was able to describe each of my characters in a couple of words for you up there? It's easy to come up with a glib description of your characters, but you need more than that if you want to breathe life into them. You need to flesh them out, give them a multitude of traits to make them as real as the person who'll be reading your book. That's where things get tricky. I don't know about you, but I'm at a hand-wringing loss when it comes to those damned interview questions you're supposed to ask your characters. My mind goes completely blank when trying to scrape up a coherent fictional personality. Of course, after writing 50,000 words about someone it's way easier to say with confidence if they'd cheat on their spouse or if they're good with money, but when you're just starting out and all you have is a half page info sheet on each character, it's painful. You can make crap up (and by "you" I mean "I"), but it's only awkward guesswork, like making up the history of the woman sitting next to you on bus. How should you know what kind of sex your character likes? You've only just met!

That's why I was so excited when I read of a darned effective way to make a character profile, with a minimum of work. (Let's just say I've never been accused of enjoying hard work too much, you know what I mean? Honey, I don't even like to jog my memory.) Anyway, what you do is, you base all your characters on your immediate family members. They'll love reading about themselves in your book, trust me. Heeee. Okay, maybe don't do that. No, really. Don't do that or you'll be the pariah sitting alone in the corner at the next family reunion, your only friends a half empty bottle of JD and your lawyer on speed-dial.

What I really meant to say was: use an astrological guide or Myers-Briggs personality types. It's a great way to figure out who you want your character to be. Let's use my dying ex-marine as an example. He's tough, by-the-book, decisive. According to the stars, he's definitely an Aries.

The Aries person is assertive, brave, energetic, action-oriented, intelligent, individualistic, independent, impulsive, full of strength, competitive, eager, straightforward, forceful, headstrong, pioneering, a leader, focused on the present and freedom-loving. They can also sometimes be intemperate, violent, impatient, fiery, rash, extreme, and arrogant. Suitable occupations are where initiative and enterprise are needed, and preferably physical activity; such as entrepreneurs, businessmen, soldiers, sportspeople and explorers.

However, my ex-marine is dying of hepatitis while waiting for a new liver. He's still the same guy, but everything he thought he knew has been given a whooping. How's that going to change him? Well, if we scope out our other choices, I could make him, let's say, more of a Taurus.

The Taurus person is resourceful, thorough, dependable, responsible, loyal, patient, placid, stable, sensual, affectionate, comfortable, solid, earthy, strong, money-oriented, practical, productive, cautious, musical, and artistic. They can also sometimes be stubborn, indulgent, insecure, acquisitive, possessive, rigid, stodgy and slow.

He's still dependable and resourceful, but suddenly work doesn't matter as much as showing his wife he loves her. Now I have a list of characteristics to choose from that will help me decide how he's going to act and react to the stuff that's happeneing to him. Yay!

This is a great way to keep your character consistent and believable, and even better, it give you a bazillion different ideas to create the kind of person who's worth writing an entire novel for.

Writing Synopsis = Hot Needles in Eyes Y/Y?

2008-02-24T14:13:00.019-07:00

The problem with scary movies is that...they're scary. Rest assured that if I watch one, that night I'm going to be in bed with the covers pulled up over my vulnerable neck area, staring at the shadows thinking, "OMG is that Leatherface/a really fast zombie/Tom Cruise squatting in the corner ready to get me?!?!"

Needless to say, I've never watched Saw or Hostel or any other torture porn movie because I'd probably never leave my house again. I'm still curious about the genre though, in a slow-down-to-see-the-car-accident-how-grotesque-can-they-get way, I'll admit (here is my express ticket to hell; let me show you it). That's why I skulk over to The Movie Spoiler website every so often and read the synopses people send in of all the latest horror movies. And voila, now I know that someone getting slowly eaten alive by sulfuric acid while people watch it on the Internet is the latest wacky torture device some writer thought up.

Speaking of torture and writers, let's talk about writing a synopsis for your novel. <--segue alert

If you want a plethora of synopsis samples, The Movie Spoiler is a great place to go. It's the movie equivalent of the slush pile, and you're the editor. There are good and bad synopses of both good and bad movies, and it's interesting to see how a stinker synopsis can mangle even the most elegant concept. You quickly come to appreciate a synopsis with well-done humour and logical plot jumps, and even more quickly come to detest a synopsis with run-on sentences and the "and then, and then, and then" method of storytelling. You'll also see how poor grammar and typos can kill a synopsis faster than a metal rod shoved through somebody's skull and into their brain while they try to figure out which key opens the lock that can free them. Look! I can write torture porn too. I rock that way.

But wait! There's more! Not only will The Movie Spoiler help you write your synopsis, it'll help you write your book. If you're a writer of thrillers, go and read the plots of ten or twenty thriller movies and you'll soon recognise the plot devices that are shamelessly used again and again and again, until you wonder how the screenplay writers can even look at themselves in the mirror without bursting into tears. For example, one spoilist writes about the movie DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE:

Just as Vince is about to get in, Travolta comes flying through the door and knocks Vince down. A fight goes on for about 5 minutes in the garage culminating with Vince waving a crow bar in the air with a flaming fuse box nearby. Can you guess what happens? So does the audience for about 2 minutes before it happens.

See the deux ex machina there? So does your reader, brother.

On the other hand, if your plot seems to be in need of some fibre, you can find loads of tried and true ideas by studying what the experts have done before you. Of course, it's up to you to take a cliche and make it into a classic twist. :0)

The avocado is a metaphor.

2008-02-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

Holy hand grenade, I haven't posted since July. July! Britney was still merely eccentric, that's how long it's been.

Why did I take such an extended leave, gentle reader? Well...it's because I was having a suck attack. I'm sure you fellow writers have had a couple of those at one time or another. You know, it goes something like this:

OMG MY WRITING SUCKS SO BAD I AM WORSE THAN THE PEOPLE WHO SELF PUBLISH ON PUBLISH AMERICA I HAVE NO BUSINESS WASTING PRECIOUS ELECTRICITY WRITING SUCH HORRIBLE DRECK ON MY LAPTOP I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AND STOP WRITING FOREVER OR MAYBE EVEN LONGER.

Yeah, bet it all comes back to you now. Of course, I didn't stop writing -- because I can't. I wrote a sequel to Star Wars in Grade 4, yo, and haven't stopped since. It's way too late to kick the habit now, I'm thinking. I did stop updating my blog though, because way to encourage other writers with my rah-rah attitude of despondent fatalism.

What changed my mind was Nathan Bransford’s first page contest winners this week. I love Nathan and his blog, which is always funny and helpful. His choices for the contest’s finalists? I could barely read them. I skimmed them all, then forced myself to go back and read them entirely, and I still can’t remember what they’re about. This isn’t about them, of course (they won, so I'm sure they'll bravely struggle on without my approval). This is about me, me, me, and my place in the writing universe.

As I was puzzling over my tepid reaction to the winners, and how other entries in the contest had bowled me over yet didn't even get a mention, it struck me. I suddenly realized that everything that happens in the publishing world is...are you ready for it?...

...based on emotion and isn’t personal.

That may sound rather obvious, but all of a sudden, I get it. I feel like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, when Robin Williams is telling him that the abuse Will suffered at the hands of his dad isn’t his fault. No, he agrees by rote, of course it’s not his fault. But Robin just keeps repeating it until Will really, REALLY gets it, upon which he has a huge breakdown and breakthrough. That’s me!! Except without the math.

Some writers are literary geniuses. I’m not one of them. I have the ability to tell a rollicking story with a few laughs, a few fights, and a few fu...tears. But you know what else? Those are the stories I love to read! I'm writing the stories that speak to my heart, and it's okay if not everybody likes them. It's more than okay! It's unavoidable, and it has nothing to do with me. \0/

Now, I might be on shakier ground if everybody hated my writing. Then I'd be doing some deep and drunken soul-searching, believe you me. But there are people who believe in my talent, and love my stories, and are not related to me even through marriage, so I hold their opinions close to my bosom and keep writing. Okay, maybe I gently set them next to my laptop and THEN keep writing, because they'd get in the way otherwise. The opinions, not my bosom.

What does this all have to do with you? Let me tell you now. You must start seeking out the people who love your writing. They're out there, trust me. Whether you write pulpy detective stories or turgid romances, elf quests or westerns, there are people out there who love that kind of thing. They're your target audience. The people who dislike your writing should be brushed away like dandruff: something you must live with, but shouldn't fret over. They're entitled to their opinions, but they have no meaning in the context of you as author.

No, you're looking for people who are thrilled with your voice, and find your stories hilarious or heart-breaking, fascinating and unforgettable, and they always want you to write just one more chapter. When you find these people, thank the god of your choice and listen to every damn word of advice they have to give you. Their feedback and critiques are worth more than all the pearls in the ocean.

This also extends to agents and publishers. If they don't like your book, it's the same as if they don't like avocados. It's not the avocado's fault, man. The avocado is trying to be the best darned avocado it can be, and it shouldn't wish it was an artichoke instead. Don't pine after agents who think avocados are boring; remember, you yourself don't like turnips -- that doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't make turnips a bad vegetable. Of course, if an agent says, "I love avocados, but I think you'd be even better as guacamole", that's different. Every avocado aspires to be guacamole, don't they?

And on that green and delicious note...I guess I'm going to start blogging again. :0)

Dan Brown, hero or ho?

2007-07-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about The Da Vinci Code.

Wait! Come back! I have cookies! ::waves them at you in a tempting manner::

Here's the thing. You might hate Danny Brown with the apocalyptic heat of a thousand supernovas, but he's bloody successful. He set out to do something, and by God, he did it and then some. Look down your nose at him all you want, gentle ~~unpublished~~ reader, but there are lessons here for all of us.

Here's my own personal story about the book. Well, Dan Brown and I were making out in the glass elevator of a con we were both attending and...okay, that's not true. I've never had a sexual relationship with Mr. Brown, not even in the confines of my imagination. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the freaking albino. Anyway, where was my publishing-related story going again? Ahem. A few weeks ago I went to the library and read the first page of a stack of books. Of all the books (an assortment of bestsellers), The Da Vinci Code was the only one I couldn't stop thinking about afterward. Did the art curator die? Who killed him and why? I went back and got the book.

Guess what? I loved it. Stop pelting me with the cookies! I'd heard all the scathing reviews and putdowns from fellow writers, and I went in with the expectation that DB's writing was going to be the equivalent of a book written with chocolate pudding on the back of a McDonald's placemat. What I found instead was a guy who wrote about a fascinating (to me! step away from the fig newton!) topic in a workmanlike manner. It wasn't poetry, but it grabbed me by the throat and kept me reading well past my bedtime until I finished it. I liked the puzzles that were crafty but understandable, I liked the main characters, I loved the plot. I would suggest that DB should never write a love scene ever, ever, ever for the good of all humanity, but that is neither here nor there.

If you're one of the people who found the book dull, well...you are in the minority, sir or madam, and possibly duped by the Catholic church. The sales numbers back me up on this just a tad. Remember, I'm not debating the artistic measure of the book, I'm trying to figure out what makes a book sell, because that's what I want my book to do, too.

So what did The Da Vinci Code teach us?

It's not the kiss of death if your writing is mediocre -- as long as it's not boring.
Using short chapters to keep your reader on the edge of his seat works.
Ditto for cliff hangers.
Ditto for letting your main character learn something that you don't immediately share with the reader.
Research is your friend.
And last but not least, even if you employ the above writing techniques, you can still write from the heart about subjects that are meaningful to you. Desiring mainstream success ≠ sucking. At least...not on this blog. :0)

Now give me a cookie. ::grabby hands::

Gramatically Challenged

2007-06-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

From Live Journal:

Troll, eh? You see this would be a classic example of a kindergarden responce if I've ever seen one. I say something, you don't like it, I respond with my opinion, and you deface it by throwing names and crying fowl.

I...I...think it's the pelicans again. Damn them!

Gramatically Challenged

2007-06-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd start posting the funniest grammatically challenged posts I come across in my travels on the Internet.

To think that the Atty. General has indicated to file an Appeal, so as to convince his/her piers that the execution of justice, in their eyes, was fair and properly adjudicated without bias and personal intent would be a grave dis-service to the judicial system.

Piers never care about the execution of justice, not even when it involves pelicans.

Fear, Giving Up, and First Novels

2007-06-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

Here's a little secret for you: I haven't written anything since the day I received my first rejection in the mail, my own cheery handwriting on the SASE delivering the bad news. Honestly, those things should be filled out in some sort of horrifying blood drip font, so as to prepare you for what happens to your self-esteem when you open the envelope.

Anyway, even though I'm not writing, I haven't given up. Far from it, as this blog hopefully shows. I've set my heels in the dirt! I've tied an unbreakable rope to my waist! And so on and so forth! Okay, maybe I'm not quite that dedicated, but I think my desire to get published is worth me really giving it my best effort before I throw in the towel. So why aren't I writing? Not because I'm scared my writing sux (in the immortal phraseology of the dearly departed Miss Snark), but because this time I'm not going to invest all the time, effort, and sacrifice that writing a book demands, only to have some editor (he's always J. Jonah Jameson in my fevered imagination) dismiss me within five seconds because I don't know what I'm doing. This time I'm going to do my homework.

With the first novel I sent out about twenty-five queries and prompty received a deluge of form rejections (and one what-the-hell full). I wasn't about to rip through the entire alphabet of agents when something obviously wasn't working with my query and/or book, so I stopped everything. Writing, querying, editing. I'm giving myself some time to learn my craft before I continue with both the retooling of the finished novel and my WIP. My craft, BTW, is not just writing a book. My craft is also selling a book so other people get the chance to read it.

I don't think my finished novel is bad, by the way. What I believe happened is this: I thought of an idea off the top of my head and wrote a 120k word novel about it. Heh. I didn't think about genre, the marketplace, my audience, agents, publishers, or (God forbid) what made other books successful. My glorious prose didn't need those things, do you hear me? This was art, not commerce. Ahahahahahahahahahha! ::wipes eyes:: I was like Bill the Cat, randomly shooting my machine gun and hoping I'd hit something saleable. Ack! I've since seen the error of my ways.

Not that this stuff is easy. It's the scariest thing I've ever done. When I finally figured out that my first novel is never going to sell as-is, I was heart sick. Also, stomach sick. All that work! Years worth of writing, and for what? Was it all for NOTHING? Only if I quit. Yes, it's possible the book will never be sold, even with rewrites. But you know what? Writing a first novel is like learning how to play the violin. There are going to be years and years where you practice like the devil, music that nobody is ever going to hear. Are those notes wasted? On the contrary, they are the building blocks that allow us to become good enough to succeed. All we need to do is press on.

Reading Carl Hiaasen Gives Me a Tan

2007-06-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

Here's my analysis of Carl Hiaasen's novel Skinny Dip. This ain't a book review, it's a rundown of what, as an aspiring author, I thought soared and sank in the book. Let me use bullets, because I love them so.

He made his characters as real as friends by using small, distinctive details.
The book was quite a bit longer than it had to be. He began to repeat scenes, especially in those damn Everglades.
The ending sort of petered out. The MCs didn't even have anything to do with the villain's comeuppance.
He head-hopped a bit, and it was charming and enjoyable.
He really, REALLY wanted us to know that humans are screwing up the Everglades, and he was not at all afraid to tell us just one...more...time.
It annoyed me that the women in the book were either young knockouts or ancient. And that not one but two women had to be rescued by men, one of whom was a WTF-inspiring deus ex machina.
Heh, it doesn't show much in this analysis, but I loved the book. Entertaining, snappy, a joy to read.

How I want to apply these observations to to my own writing:

I'll use sharp, unusual character details
No sermons
I won't be afraid to break the rules if I've got a sure and steady grasp of the technique
I'll have strong female characters

First pages of published books

2007-06-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

In my quest to become a published author, the first thing I've decided to do is study published books (and especially best sellers) to see what common bonds they share -- and what other, less successful books are lacking.

So last week I toddled on over to the our local library, pen and notebook in my sweaty little paw, to see what I could see. I parked myself in front of a paperback carousel and read the first page of about twenty-five books. Here's what I learned:

1. PAs (published authors) are fully capable of starting their books with their MCs waking from some unsettling dream by a late-night phone call with bad news. Other first pages starters: the weather, drawn out descriptions of the setting, flashbacks, and dialogue. Just thought I'd point that out.

2. The crazed serial killer stalking some hapless, half-dressed woman is used a lot in first scenes. A LOT. Hey, if it worked for all those Friday the 13th movies...

3. Of the twenty-five books, I turned to the second page to keep reading around five times. Each one had me asking "What the heck is going to happen next?", no matter what the genre or writing style.

4. You know, Dan Brown might wield the English language like one of those medieval weapons with a spiked ball at the end of a chain...but the man does suspense like nobody's business. I was totally intrigued by the idea of a book opening with a dying man fleeing his killer. Better than a rundown of the area's history since the fall of the Roman Empire!

5. After twenty-five first pages, I took home Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen. I'll talk about what I learned from his book in my next post.

Here's my story

2007-06-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

So I wrote this novel called The Echo Effect. It took me six years. I was so sure I'd send it off to an agent and the rest would be, as they say in Clicheville, history.

I was wrong.

Nobody loved it. My query, stained with the earnest karmic sweat of my most valiant efforts, was ignored or rejected via form letter by more than a dozen agents. I got one request for a full, which was rejected (by form letter) the day the agent received it in the mail. I was officially part of the slushpile.

Now, I'm not stupid. I didn't just fall off the beaver truck (we don't have turnip trucks in Alberta). I know I can write well, and I know my correspondence was professional. So why wasn't anyone interested in reading more?

Fuck if I know. All I know is that I stopped sending out queries. And I stopped writing. The rejection hobbled me. I wallowed in glorious misery for a few days, until I finally decided that it was time to either quit writing or buy a helmet. Quitting sounded so blissful. So freaking easy.

Which brings us to now. Which door did I choose? Well... ::fastens chin strap::

I've decided to blog here about my adventures in publishing. I don't know if this is going to be one of those triumphant feel-good stories where I emerge victorious, carried off the football field on the shoulders of my...uh...fellow Internet writers. I don't know if this is going to be a tearjerker where I just doesn't know when to quit, like the marathon runners who drag themselves toward the finish line even after darkness falls and everyone else has gone home.

This is what I know: other people get published. A lot of them. I'm going to find out what they did, and I'm going to do it, too. Everything I learn, all my results, I'm going to post in this blog. Hopefully if you read about it, it'll help you, too.

So, welcome! My name is MelodyO, and I'm a writer.

Hello! (hello...hello...hello...)

2007-05-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

Well, my gosh. If a blogger falls in a forest and there's nobody around to read about it...does she still make a sound? Like, "Call an ambulance, you idiot, did you not hear my tibia fracturing?"

Let's find out.